Birthdays. We all have one. Some of you may even have enough to see Halley's comet twice in your lifetime. I LOVE celebrating birthdays. Other people's that is. Don't get me wrong, I am not shy about my age (forty-one, thank you very much) or preoccupied with growing older. That's because I just get more fabulous every year. ;-) I simply do not like a fuss made over me, especially in the "hey, we've gathered 100 of your closest acquaintances, and now you have to spend four hours talking to everyone" kind of way.
Again, don't get me wrong, I love socializing with people. In small groups. For a while. And when I am not expected to give a speech or blow out candles after some yahoo makes a tired joke about having to call the fire department over the number of them. ("I don't know what happened, Barb. We were singing 'Happy Birthday' one minute, and the next minute, she had Bob in a full nelson on the floor")
And let me digress for a moment and give a little advice to the folks who go around celebrating their "birthday week" or "birthday weekend". If you are turning one, I will give you a week to celebrate. If you are under the age of 18, or you are celebrating a "milestone" birthday (21, 30, 40, etc), I will give you a weekend. If you have any other amount of candles on your cake and would like my participation in some way, you get a birthDAY. One. Uno. End of story. Moving on...
Some of you probably have birthdays that are an extravaganza of celebration from the moment you are awoken with being served breakfast in bed by your adoring spouse and excited children, who are showering you with kisses and birthday wishes. They are also shoving flowers and cards and gifts at you, while singing "Happy Birthday to You" in a three-part harmony. You go on to have a day where you basically sit on a throne while your loved ones bestow you with gifts, surprises and a plethora of all of your favorite experiences. That is awesome, and I am genuinely happy for you. Enjoy!
My birthdays are a bit more non-traditional. Some of that is by choice, and some of it is just circumstance. One of the reasons is that I am married to a guy who is not big on occasions. Celebrating them, planning for them, or even remembering them in the first place. My HH is easy on the eyes, and he has many redeeming qualities. Making a "to do" over someone's birthday is just not in his skill set. I do get a "Happy Birthday Baby" and a card every year, and some flowers about every fifth year, but that pretty much wraps it up, and that's fine. At this point in our marriage, if he went beyond that, I would think that he's either having an affair or that I have been diagnosed with a terminal illness that my doctor told him about and not me.
Another reason my birthdays are non-traditional is because of my upbringing. To avoid turning this blog entry into a therapy session (and to avoid opening any cans of worms with any relatives who may be reading this), just know that my childhood was quite different from many of my peers. If it had been a TV show, if would have been "The Brady Bunch" with heavy doses of "All My Children" and "Monday Night Raw" (Google that one if you're not a fan) thrown in there. Now before you go feeling all sorry for me, the upside to this is that as an adult, I can tolerate (just about) anybody, and I ain't skeered of anybody either. *crouching into Ralph Macchio's crane pose from "Karate Kid"* Both are definitely good life skills to have.
But the main reason my birthday is non-traditional is because of me. I don't do well with any hoopla over me, and those closest to me know that. The idea of a big party makes me all rashy, and I start to pit sweat just thinking about it. Instead, I take my birthday happiness in the Little Things, which are Big Things to me. Take my birthday this year for example. It was yesterday, which is obviously why I turned these thoughts into a blog entry.
I was the first one up at my house as usual. I got my coffee and got on my computer. Lots of birthday wishes to me on Facebook. Little (Big) Thing. My kids got up next, having no clue at first it was my birthday. That's fine because I still got my usual morning hugs, kisses and snuggles. Little (Big) Thing. HH woke up and gave me a card and my quinquenneal flowers before he went to work. L(B)T. My kids realized in the late morning it was my birthday. They made me cards with printer paper and wrapped up stuff from their rooms to give me as gifts. A favorite bracelet of the Girl Child's, and some of his prized marbles from the Boy Child. L(B)T.
I then spent the afternoon pulling up carpet, pad, tack strip, nails and staples from our bedroom floor as the result of water damage from one of the HH's ideas that had hit the crapper. Hard. My friend Marty stopped by to drop off some stuff and wish me a HBD, and she offered (multiple times) to stay and help me. Any ol' friend will offer to go to lunch, the spa, etc. with you on your birthday. A friggin' fantastic friend offers to sacrifice her afternoon by spending it down on her knees pulling staples out of the floor beside you on your birthday. L(B)T.
Despite being tired and (more than) slightly cranky when I was done, I allowed myself to be talked by Marty and one of my other dear friends, Jolie, into going out to dinner to (not) celebrate my birthday. They know very well to keep things at the restaurant on the DL. If I see a herd of waitstaff coming at me with a dessert with a candle on it, I will fly out of there so fast, the breeze I create in my wake will blow it out.
No candles or cake then, just a dozen or so of my favorite people having good food and fellowship together. When we got to the restaurant, Marty's hubby, The Good Cowboy, had a present for me. It was a Duck Dynasty pink cammo coozie with the phrase "happy happy happy" on it. He knows how much I adore the Robertsons, so that gift was very thoughtful and spot on. L(B)T. My friend Jolie and her family were there as well. Jolie had worked all day and had a major headache, but she still came. L(B)T.
When you look at life overall, there aren't that many Big Things that happen on a day-to-day basis. If you measure the importance of your life based upon Big Things, you're probably going to be disappointed. I've learned to base my happiness on my birthday and every other day of the year on Little Things. A hug, a small gift with a lot of heart wrapped into it, an offer of help, or someone taking the time to let you know you matter to them. All of those Little Things really are the Big Things in life if you look at them the right way.
Everyone creates their own happiness, birthday and everyday. You can make your own traditions by celebrating your birthday any way you want. Maybe you want marching bands, jumbo-tron shout outs, a party with 1000 of your closest friends. Go ahead, whatever makes you feel celebrated for being born. I will stick to my "non-traditional" birthday of L(B)Ts. At forty-one, I have learned that I want my birthdays to be more about counting blessings than candles and about taking pleasure in the gifts of the people God has put in my life rather than the presents any one of them might give me.
So to those who gave me a L(B)T yesterday, thank you. For those who give them to me all throughout the year, I thank you even more. I am a year older, I am a year better, and because of the people I love and that I am loved by, I am blessed on my birthday and always.
Sparkly Kisses,
D
