Knowing how I feel about winter, I had a couple of folks ask me yesterday what I thought of the groundhog's prediction for six more weeks of it. My response was that I have as much confidence in the decision making abilities of a rodent as I do in those of intoxicated people, overtired children and Gov. Brownback. (I work in public education and have two children in KS public schools. Enough said.)
First of all, the entire concept is @$$ backward. The sun is shining, it sees its shadow, then there is MORE winter? The weather is dreary, it doesn't see its shadow, early spring? Balderdash. Second, people are donning tuxedos and top hats to tromp into the woods and retrieve a rodent from its hole that then "talks" to one of the them and gives his weather predictions? Mmmkay. This sounds more like a story involving group of groomsmen who were frat brothers and an open bar at a wedding reception. Lastly, we all know that spring's arrival is wildly unpredictable anyway, and here in Kansas, that season has pretty much replaced summer. We generally have winter until early May, three months of warm spring weather, then one month of hot summer weather that commences precisely when school resumes in mid-August, then straight to fall.
The bottom line for me is that Groundhog Day is as pointless of a "holiday" to put on the calendar as Arbor Day. (Really? Can you even tell me what month it's in or who founded it? That's what I thought.) The weather has nothing to do with the whims of a rodent. Everybody KNOWS that it is controlled by the federal government (HAARP, anyone?) and its attempt to govern our thoughts and emotions. I just haven't figured out how having me walk around looking like Grumpy Cat for four months benefits their military operations in any way.
So save your questions regarding my opinion on the fate of Mulligatawny Phil's shadow. I'm too busy searching online for an electric blanket that gets so hot that it could bake brownies under my covers. Now that there is an idea. You wouldn't even have to get out of your warm bed to get a late night snack. Brilliant! And it has all the makings of a great late night infomercial. Now to just come up with a product name...
Sparkly Kisses,
D
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