My Thoughts on: Being a "Supportive", Not a "Stepford" Wife

If you read my blogs posts regularly, you know I'm pretty enamored of my Handsome Husband.  Are there times when he does (or doesn't do) stuff that seriously tempts me to freak the freak out?  Certainement.  But when you look at the overall picture, after thirteen years together, he still makes me want to bust into Mary Wells's classic, "My Guy". 

Why did I reference a song that's almost fifty years old instead of something more contemporary?  It's because to some of you, my views on what being a supportive wife means may be as out-of-date as you think that song is.  I am an Ephesians 5:22 girl.  For those of you not familiar with the verse, here it is in The Message translation, along with the two verses following it. 

"Wives, understand and support your husbands in ways that show your support for Christ.  The husband provides leadership to his wife the way Christ does to his church, not by domineering, but by cherishing. So just as the church submits to Christ as he exercises such leadership, wives should likewise submit to their husbands."

Right now, the fellas are probably thinking that all sounds pretty good.  Those of you ladies who maybe haven't done much Bible studying, please, stick with me here!  These instructions are not for you to be a robot moving thoughtlessly through life doing your husband's bidding. 

It speaks of a partnership and an equal commitment to trust each other and God completely.  If we are in a marriage where one person is giving as much of themselves as the other person is, a perfect balance can be achieved.  Both spouses are mindfully doing what they can to better the life of the other person.

A husband who looks at his wife with the same kind of love and tenderness as Christ does the church is always putting her needs ahead of his own.  It delights him to see her happy.  He doesn't look to dominate her, but to protect her and put himself between her and anything that could harm her or cause her pain.

When you have a husband who does this, giving him all your support and devotion is easy.  You know he makes faith-based decisions as to what is best for your family.  He does seek you out for counsel and advice, and your input and your feelings are very important to him.  But you know that he seeks God first and foremost, and also, that God has never, ever let your family down. 

As long as He is leading your husband's heart, following behind is never an issue.  In fact, you are glad to be in that position when faced with the world's adversity.  God is triumphantly leading the charge, and your husband is following in His footsteps while leading, shielding and protecting you and your children.

I spent a great deal of my early life feeling abandoned and alone.  I desperately wanted God to feel real to me, but I really wasn't actively seeking Him.  I also wanted someone in my life who would love me not for what I gave them, but because they cherished who I was inside.  Someone that I could lean against when the world came at me, and they would always be at my side. 

My husband and I came together not for all the right reasons or in the best of circumstances, but very much unbeknownst to us, God had a plan.  It wasn't a five-year plan, or a ten-year plan, but one for a lifetime.  We haven't always been consistent, but He has.  We haven't always put our marriage first, but He has.  We haven't always had all the answers, but He has.

We have come so far with God's favor and blessing and with a LOT of hard work and perseverance.  I think back to the man my husband was on our wedding day and the man he is today, and I am amazed and humbled and blessed by who God has transformed him into being.  He is my partner and someone I can't imagine doing one day of my life without.

I support him not because God tells me I should, but because it is completely consistent with who we have become.  My husband cherishes me, which compels me to follow him, which makes him cherish me more, and on it goes.  The ebb and flow becomes as natural as breathing and as perfect as anything that is ordained by God.

We are human, and we do fall short, but we know one thing we will never do in our marriage is fail.  We have faced and overcome so many things in the past that would easily shatter a relationship that is not based upon a strong faith in God and in each other.  I am blessed every day to be loved and led in my life by this man.  I'm even more blessed that God loved me enough to lead me to my husband and to the beautifully simple and precious life we now share.

Sparkly Kisses,

D