I love my Handsome Husband dearly and more deeply every year we are married. But anyone who's been married a while knows that loving your spouse certainly doesn't mean loving everything about them. One of the things I can't affectionately embrace is the HH's fashion sense. Or complete lack thereof.
Now before you go defending him, let me first tell you that I was the clear victim of a bait and switch. When we first started dating a dozen or so years ago, he was the most dapper dude you would ever want to see. Custom fit suits, designer sweaters and jeans, hair perfectly coiffed, the guy was a walking Kenneth Cole catalogue. He was even known to pop into a nail salon for a manly-cure every now and again. A true metrosexual, and I was head over heels for such a suave presentation in such a young man.
But apparently when he said, "I do" to me two years later, he said, "I do NOT know how to dress myself anymore" to the rest of the world. Don't get me wrong, thanks to my shopping prowess, he still has a very nice wardrobe. His challenge lies in shoving aside the clothes in the closet that are best suited for things like working on cars and impersonating the homeless and getting TO the dapperware. Or in combining items from the dapperware collection so that he comes across as looking stylish and well put together and not like he got dressed in the dark.
Trust me when I tell you that the HH does NOT see the problem. He seemingly lacks a fundamental understanding that very few husband do have and that all wives definitely have that when a man walks out into the world wearing a wedding ring, he and his clothing are no longer a reflection on just himself.
It doesn't matter if his wife actually signed off on his wardrobe choice that day or not, every woman and gay man he comes into contact with asks themselves, "Why in the name of sweet baby Moses did his wife let him out of the house dressed like that?" Now please note that this observation is made solely by those two groups.
If you asked a straight man to tell you what the HH was wearing, he would say "clothes". Ask for more details, and he may add "a hat" or "tennis shoes". Guys just do not give a rip what other guys are wearing. When it comes to what impact their clothing will have on others, single men dress for single women. Single women dress for single men. Married women dress for other women, and married men dress in what their wife laid out on the bed.
I try and pick my battles. If we are headed to the Mayor's Christmas party for example, you had better believe I am picking out his clothes from his tie all the way down to his underwear. And yes, our outfits will be color-coordinated. Not so much so that we look like we are back up singers in the Neil Diamond tribute show in Branson, but just so that what we are wearing isn't on opposite sides of the color wheel.
If we are headed, say, to the ball fields or the swimming pool, he is given latitude to come up with his own ensemble. But if he opts for a ball cap that looks and smells like he wiped his hands on it after he finished cleaning a fish, or white calf-length socks and rubber clogs with his swimsuit (true story), not only will I walk ten paces ahead of him from the car to the venue and back, but I will be struck with a sudden case of marital amnesia if he tries to talk to me while we are there.
I definitely get that while the clothes do make the man on the outside, they really have nothing to do with the more important things like his heart and his character. I am grateful to love and be loved every day by my HH, even if impeccable taste to him is more about Guy Fieri than Guy Laroche.
So if you know him and see him out and about and in something that is less than fashionable, realize that behind the man is a woman who does what she can each day to resurrect his love and passion for his former fashion conscious side, while counting her blessings at the same time that after so many years, his love and passion for her remains. He may be at times a candidate for the show "What NOT to Wear", but he's MY fashion misfit, and I wouldn't trade him in for a more stylish model any day.
Sparkly Kisses,
D
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