If you're the type of person who, upon hearing there is a 5% chance of snow in the forecast, piles the snow gear by the front door, waxes the bottom of your kids' sleds, puts the weather radio on the nightstand and posts relentless FB statuses updating everyone on the impending "storm", today's blog entry is NOT for you. Anyway, you're probably outside anyway and have been since 6am when you drank your first cup of coffee sitting in your neighbor's frozen bird bath.
This entry is for those of us who, upon getting the pre-dawn text from the school district saying that school is canceled, immediately go into prayer to avoid saying a word that rhymes with "duck" that the Lord would most certainly frown upon the use of.
For some of you SDHs (Snow Day Haters), having one means you have to figure out what the heck you're supposed to do with the kids because, unlike the school district superintendant, your boss doesn't believe in snow days. So you are forced to either play a lightning round of "I can't stay home from work with them, YOU'RE going to have to stay home with them" with your spouse or to start waking up everyone you know at 5am to ask them if they can keep your kids.
Thanks to the hard work of my Handsome Husband, I am very blessed to be a SAHM, so why should I be a SDH, right? Let's break it down. Our school district builds like two snow days into the calendar. After that, we have to make them up. Now it becomes a math equation. Snow Days > 2 = Pool Days < 80. Yes, I have counted out the pool days between the last day of school in May and the first day in August. Don't get me started on how much I love the pool and summer in general. Another entry, another day.
Plus there's the fact that snow days start all blissful and fun and end up with my HH coming home from work to find both kids banished to their rooms and Mommy sitting in the car in the garage with all the doors locked and in a chocolate coma.
It all begins when the kids wake up, get over their momentary panic that my alarm clock had another Epic Fail (see my blog entry on Parenting) and that they are late for school, and it quickly turns to hoops and hollers that there is No School. They high five and hug and bond and make plans for a day of playing games together, playing in the snow together and playing like it's really going to go down that way.
I start out cautious and optimistic, like a thermonuclear physicist working with unstable nuetrons. Okay, science people, maybe that's not the correct anology. I would read your blog to find out what is, but zzzzzz...Hoo! I fell asleep just thinking about it! ;-)
As the hours tick by, the bliss quickly turns to boredom, then the game becomes "515 Ways to Annoy Your Sibling", which turns to "515 Ways to Get Mommy to Freak the Freak Out". And yes, in a Norman Rockwell, Pinterest-y world, we would be happily and peacefully crafting, cooking and singing show tunes together all day, but you know what Norman Rockwell pictures and Pinterest have in common? THEY DON'T SHOWCASE REAL LIFE!
Now mind you, our day does not go down like this in the fall, spring or summer. Ah, the summatime.... No, I won't start writing about summer, otherwise I'll never wrap up this entry. I'll just say that in the two other seasons and in summer, we're all outside together even on the hottest of days, whether that's at the pool or just chilling with the neighbors in our front yard. Everyone's happy, no one is yelling "Stop touching me!" or "Mommy, (s)he's looking at me!" or anything else that after hearing it 79 times causes me to freak the freak out.
So SDHs, let's all raise a fistful of Hershey's kisses in solidarity over our disdain for those pre-dawn texts and all of the chaos and calamity that ensues as a result of them. We will do what we can to make it through the winter, and when the end of May finally arrives, I will giddily save you a chair next to mine at the pool.
Sparkly Kisses,
D
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